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You are not your problem - becoming free from your negative identity

3/6/2016

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People often come to therapy feeling completely overwhelmed by depression and anxiety, by anger or disappointment, confused as to what to do next. People often only come because someone they love has given them an ultimatum - get help or else. The despair that comes into the therapy space is very real, as is the person's belief that they are simply a broken down loser, with no hope, and no right to be. What if you could be separated from that belief, could see that belief is a choice, and begin to build for yourself a different way to be?
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As human beings, we develop stories to explain our place in the world to ourselves. We can see our worth via the stories we weave about our lives and our actions. Sometimes, however, the conclusions we reach, the identity we choose, is a negative one, full of blame, fault, suffering and doubt.

Narrative therapy, through the concept of externalising conversations developed by Michael White (White 1984), is the process of separating you from your problems. This helps you be able to see yourself from a different perspective, free from the negative identity you have concluded it is your burden to carry through life.

It is a fascinating and liberating experience as your own personal history is unpacked to discover just why you have the beliefs that you do, just how they began, and how they have helped you in the past - and how they are often passed their use-by date and are now working actively to make you unhappy. Once they were a help - now they hold you back.

As an example, you may have stories such as "I am worthless," I am unlovable," or "I am a bad person." In the safe environment of the non-judgemental therapy space, there's a magnificent chance to explore the history, the influence, and the effect of these stores.

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As we discover just where the stories began, how they shaped and continue to influence you, we find that there is now the possibility of choice. As the stories are now visible to you at a distance, you begin to see that you can influence them. You begin to feel that you can take back control, you can make decisions regarding who you prefer to be, and how you prefer to live.

We take those stories that have become so harmful to you, and we begin the task of weakening them, while at the same time thickening the preferences we discover that you have.

You can re-author your life. You can take back control. You can determine your own future. It's a wonderful thing, a powerful thing - a real and possible thing.

  • Brown, C. & Augusta-Scott, T. (1997). Narrative Therapy. Making meaning, making lives. Sage Publications, London.
  • White, M. (1984), Pseudo-encopresis: From avalanche to victory, from vicious to virtuous cycles. Family Systems Medicine, Vol 2(2), 1984, 150-160
  • White, M. (2001). Narrative Practice and the unpacking of identity conclusions. Gecko: A Journal of Deconstruction and Narrative Ideas in Therapeutic Practice, 1, 28-55.
  • White, M. (2007). Maps of narrative practice. New York, Norton.
  • White, M., & Epston, D. (1990). Narrative means to therapeutic ends. New York, Norton.

Do you think you are your problem? Have you broken free from your negative beliefs about yourself?
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    Chris is a Counsellor and Psychotherapist at Engage Counselling, Sydney

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