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Photo: Sasha Freemind / Unsplash
If your relationships often feel painful, chaotic, or unfulfilling — if you keep finding yourself in the same dynamics with different people — it may be time to look at something that runs much deeper than the choices you're making. One of the most powerful, and most often unconscious, influences on how we love and connect is our attachment style.1 Understanding it takes courage. But it also opens a door.
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 The Australian Psychological Society has published their "8 tops for thriving in the digital age." It's a helpful and practical guide to helping navigate the complicated and sometimes distressing needs of social media.
 Communication is so important in a relationship, but for many, we have only the training we have received in our lives to guide us - and it's often wrong! Take empathy for example. We all know that it's the best way to listen, especially with a partner who needs us. But how is it done? And why is it so hard?
The brain is an interesting part of us, as we don't actually need to consider what it is doing in order for it to do whatever it is it's doing. The brain operates without our being aware of it – we just let it get on with its job and, ahem, never give it a second thought. But is our brain always providing us with the best information? More importantly, is our brain negatively impacting on our relationships?
While the human brain is more powerful that any currently existing computer, it is also subject to Cognitive Bias, those generalisations the brain has evolved for use in speeding up our decisions in dangerous situations, and to enhance our sociability. While many of them are useful (and no doubt helped to keep us alive as a species), they can also significantly |
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Chris is a Clinical Counsellor and Psychotherapist at Engage Counselling, Sydney Archives
February 2026
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